their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
