He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
