Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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