Umm I'm too high to move.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
