Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
