Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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