the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
