That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
