That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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