I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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