Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
