I'm laying in your front yard are you home
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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