Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
honey bunches of taint.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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