I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
