Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
