then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
