I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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