So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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