But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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