Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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