If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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