I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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