so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
