There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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