sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
