can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize