I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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