She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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