just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
