she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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