My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
