I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize