Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she woke up with a sticky ear
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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