I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
