do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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