Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
