I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
