She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
