Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm like, not good at living.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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