Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The Olympian is in my bed
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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