ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
These tits shall not be calmed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
