So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
