do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
