So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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