Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
