I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize