Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
