Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize