I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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