My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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