Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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