They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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