He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
