In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
