it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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