ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
