she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
